


When will I be free?

by Rowan_is_dead_inside



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Human AU, I'm Sorry, Janus has some problems, Logan Is Trying His Best, Logan and Patton are adults., Patton's an alcoholic, Roman is kind of an asshole, Virgil is 7, Virgil is trying his best, half the characters in the tags only get mentioned like a few times, janus is 14, roman is 11, this is just a big old vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:13:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25633363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowan_is_dead_inside/pseuds/Rowan_is_dead_inside
Summary: Janus doesn't have the best homelife, he just wants to be free but everything just seems to go downhill for him.
Kudos: 9





	When will I be free?

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, trigger warnings! Alcoholic character, an injured ankle(not graphic. But like), slight non con touching(once again not graphic, and not rape, but just like there. Might be considered sexual harrassment?. I have no clue.) 
> 
> I'm sorry this one is short, it's just purely me venting through the sides. So, yeah.

Janus' P.O.V)

I hated, h a t e d, the way that Patton made everyone feel bad at any chance he got. He's supposed to be the dad figure for heaven's sake! Not to mention he had picked up drinking, on top of yelling at most of them for no reason.

Virgil, who is the youngest of all of us, got the backlash of his drinking problem the most.

Patton just loves to point out his problems and in insecurities, any little thing he did wrong he got yelled at, on top of that he had a certain way of speaking that most of the sides could understand even with his anxiety filled slurred up words, but Patton he always looked confused about how he talks he forces him to speak clearly over and over even though it's tough for him.

Roman seemed to get some of the same treatment, just a few days ago he was out playing and twisted his ankle, Patton was furious with him saying he should use his head and not just follow anything or anyone into a potentially dangerous place, seemingly not even thinking about how Roman was is so much pain, and it just sounded wrong in a way.

Not manipulative or abusive, I think, but the way he said things sounded off and more harsh than usual.

Right after the ordeal he turned to me and asked me what's wrong, clearly I had glared the whole time wishing I could lash out at him and tell him that he has terrified Roman by yelling at him on many other occasions.

His voice was filled with a fatherly sound when he talked to me, I hated it, I was caught off guard and mumbled something incoherent even to me. He kept on asking a few things like am I okay? Am I just in a mood? I hated the way his voice changed the moment I came into the picture.

I don't want to take his kindness for granted but, it feels wrong. Oh so wrong that the kindness is coming from his mouth, Logan sure I can see it, but Patton has just been so rude and angry all the time it feels wrong.

Don't get me started with Logan, Logan is like a mom to me. He offers me comfort and love. But he and Patton says stuff to him all the time, mostly stupid stuff like, 'Why we're you staring at him?', 'Am I not enough for you?', 'So I work my butt off to come home to this mess, I provide you food and shelter and you can't even let me come home to a clean and quiet house?', all of it is stupid and they once had a full-blown argument about sex!.

Honestly everything started to go downhill after Remus tried to off himself, he got put in a mental hospital for a week or so and after he came back life just seemed dulled.

The whole family just seemed to break after that, Remy went and lived with his boyfriend Emile, Remus also moved in with his boyfriend.

I picked up some rather bad habits, Roman touched me in places I don't prefer to be touched and not by my brother either. He never went far, and stopped after I pointed out how I felt.

In many ways I don't want to know what would happen if he kept touching my legs, pretending to go in for a kiss, make grabbing hands at my private areas, make crude jokes involving me and him, and trapping me in hugs I don't want nor can escape.

Patton picked up drinking heavily er, and yelling at us more than I noticed before.

But it's my family no matter how much I hate it. Because in the end I'm trapped here until I can move out, in the end this will probably continue and might get worse.

Abusive or not I'm forced to stay here, manipulative or not, frustrating or not, this is where I have to be until I don't anymore, all I can do is sit here and bear it until it gets too much and I off myself, or until I move out.

But even then I have a nagging feeling that it will haunt me for a long, long time.


End file.
